Wednesday, September 19, 2012

excuses

I make excuses for everything. I really never thought about myself that way until the past few months. I am an excuse maker. I don't make it to the studio because I have to be there for my dogs. Really? I have to make dinner. Really? I have to cut the grass. Really Jim? Really?! It sounds like Seth Myers in my head. I can't get my ass to the studio. When I am not there, that is all I think about. When I am there, I think of everything else. These thoughts make me question what I am doing with myself as an artist and as a person. I am in this never ending loop of shit.

I am writing about this because it was all I could think about at work yesterday. I was thinking of quitting my full time job and getting another part time job. It would free up 20 hours a week for studio time. Then I thought "Yay, another crappy part time job." Another excuse. A few weeks ago I saw the look of disappointment on the faces of three people when the topic was myself and art. I don't know if they knew they were doing it, but I saw it in their eyes. It blows.

Last night I was reading a few blogs and two new posts by two different people summed up everything I was feeling. It was a little relieving and inspiring. I am not saying I am going to run right off to the studio, but I am saying I am done with the excuses.

I just read through this post and it does not make sense. It skips around. Whatever. Jen told me to live in the moment. It is what it is.

I brought Gino to the studio. I don't think he enjoyed it. 

4 comments:

joAnn said...

YES. yes.

Rachael, Pistachio Press said...

I apologize for my disappointed eyes if I was one of the three. You are talented in a rare way. I am a harsh critic and a crotchety asshole who is unsatisfied by almost every piece of art I encounter and I still like your work. I want to see more of it. Lots more.

Like a phoenix, Jimmy.

Rachael, Pistachio Press said...

That was Jake, not Rachael, in the last comment. Although she is also a crotchety asshole. I mean that in the best possible way.

Jim said...

haha that was funny